Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
