no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
