WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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