carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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