Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
