covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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