I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
