Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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