Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I AM VODKA MAN
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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