Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
