There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
My vagina is officially offended.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
