i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
