READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Acid is not a monday night drug
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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