how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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