Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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