i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
