if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
