I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
NoShamevember. You game?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
