I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
