we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
