we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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