i already hear my dad disowning me
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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