he puts the penis in happiness.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
