So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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