It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
