i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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