Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
