I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
