Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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