I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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