Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
