i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
