she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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