Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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