Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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