Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
