i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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