i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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