We won't sleep together?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
