You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
