M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
only you would photoshop your dick
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
