Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Watching her eat just hurts me
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
