How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I need moral support for this bender
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
