i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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