My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
