pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
