i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
