i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
