I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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