He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
you traded sex for a burrito?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
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