totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
