I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
