you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
